What did I do the day before yesterday?

I sneaked a mention on one of the UK's biggest comedy podcasts over the weekend. And then my name became connective tissue in an anecdote about Bez from The Happy Mondays banging on about fracking.

What Did I Do in March?

It started way back in March, when Max Rushden attended a media screening of Ange & The Boss. He said nice things about our film, and knowing he had young children, I gave him two of my picture books, The Cow Tripped over the Moon and Hickory Dickory Dash (both illustrated by Laura Wood).

I know what you’re thinking. Doesn’t that completely devalue the positive shout one of the UK’s best known football voices gave our film? Is this something that might even interest Media Watch?

My answer to that is — ‘yes’ and ‘hopefully’ — so much so that if you send the tip off to Media Watch, and copy me in on the email, I’ll send you a copy of Harry Highpants, (which some critics regard as the Of Mice and Men in the Tony Wilson oeuvre).¹

Apart from being on the top rating The Guardian’s Football Weekly podcast, Max is also the co-host of the 15th most popular comedy podcast in the UK this week, ‘What Did You Do Yesterday’. The idea is that Max and his friend, Irish comedian and MICF favourite David O’Doherty talk about what they did yesterday, either between themselves, or with a guest with their own stories and thoughts about the whole subject of yesterday.

It’s quite lovely, because it takes everyone into the minutiae of life, and challenges two funny people to go beyond what I’d call their ‘anecdotal jukebox’, the stories they’ve told over and over, to focus on the day to day. As one listener wrote to them after failing to convince his wife about the podcast’s merits, ‘It is mundane stuff, but I find it amusing, keep up the good work’.

What Did I Do Saturday?

On Saturday morning I opened my Instagram and saw a message from a fellow dog lover named Robyn saying I’d scored a mention on What Did You Do Yesterday. I dialled up the link she sent me, and sure enough, there at 53.06 and again at 53.50, Max was dipping into the picture book payola I palmed his way back in March.

It turns out that in Max’s yesterday, alongside planning to book a meningitis appointment and organising baby bike seats for central London, he talked about reading Hickory Dickory Dash² to his three year old ‘Ian’. It isn’t the highlight of the episode, that’s when David expresses amazement that what he calls ‘road cones’ are actually called ‘witches hats’ here in Australia, but it gets a good run. FWIW, I had no idea that the rest of the world doesn’t call witches hats, ‘witches hats’. That really is their loss.

But back to my mention. Here is the audio snippet:

MAX RUSHDEN (00:00:00):

During this time, I have a cup of tea and two Weet Bix with the flax seeds because I didn't have that for breakfast, so I like to get my flax seeds in.

DAVID O'DOHERTY (00:00:06):

Eat your sandwich. Eat your big fancy sandwich.

MAX RUSHDEN (00:00:10):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I have toast and peanut butter because I want something nice and one square of Lindt, mint intense. Good stuff.

2.15pm. It's been two hours. I swap with Jaime. Willie's still asleep. So I sidle into the dark room. I slide my hands under Willie. I sit down on the chair. Jaime goes into the sunlight and I say, I'll just see you when I see you.

And two minutes later, Willie wakes up.

So I haven't done that brilliantly.

DAVID O'DOHERTY (00:00:38):

Um so Willie requires some physical contact for him to remain asleep?

MAX RUSHDEN (00:00:46):

Or movement, we can push him in the pram but at the moment he can't just be left … yeah … we're sort of working on this, it's a sort of very much trial and error. If something works you just repeat it the next day because you know you're just, you're just trying to get through, David.

DAVID O'DOHERTY (00:01:01):

It's a real bomb disposal vibe to that changeover.

MAX RUSHDEN (00:01:03):

Yeah, there is.

MAX RUSHDEN (00:01:05):

I've clicked the yellow wire by mistake and the whole room has exploded. And Alan Rickman is laughing somewhere because he's got his way.

So then we're all together we're all together we're all up. Jaime is reading Ian a book called Hickory Dickory Dock [sic] but it's got a like it's a twist on the the original and it's got quite a nice scan to it, it flows and it's a bit singy so I start reading it in a singy way and Ian really does not like that and he bursts into tears because he does not want me singing

So Jaime takes Ian to the park and I take Willie for a walk because he needs another nap.

I mean, he's a bit tired. He's not 100%.

I buy a bottle of wine.

That just seems like the right thing to do.

DAVID O'DOHERTY (00:01:55):

Great.

As you're pushing him along, you are just slugging from it.

MAX RUSHDEN (00:02:01):

Swigging from a $17 bottle of Shiraz. And so I walk home.

I then read the Hickory Dickory Dock book in a very sort of monotone way to Ian. And it's a kind of rapprochement.

We bond over the correct reading of the book.

DAVID O'DOHERTY (00:02:19):

You've got to trust the text, I think, in these situations, you know?

I mean it’s like, 'To BE or not to be.'

You know, you're just like, this is good gear. I'm just going to read it pretty flat.

MAX RUSHDEN (00:02:33):

It's called Hickory Dickory Dash by someone called Tony Wilson, if you are looking for it. It's good. It's good. I enjoy it.

DAVID O'DOHERTY (00:02:39):

Tony Wilson, who set up the Hacienda Club and was the godfather of the Manchester music scene?

MAX RUSHDEN (00:02:45):

Totally totally and actually um you can get ... the audiobook is done by Bez from The Happy Mondays which is a weird choice but um …

Bez once came on Talk Sport because someone said he's a massive Man United fan or something. And me and Barry Glendening, we weren't 100% sure. We were like, oh, yeah, we'll talk to Bez.

So you just go, ‘Okay, a tricky trip for Manchester United down to Goodison … Let's talk to Bez from the Happy Mondays … Big Manchester United fan. Bez, how are you?

And then he just did 10 minutes on how bad fracking was.

LAUGHTER

MAX RUSHDEN (00:03:20):

And the producers were like, can you get in here?

And I was like, 'no, I'm quite enjoying this. There's something really good about this. I don't know. I'm not sure this is what the audience needs or wants …’

We didn't really get Bez's view on how Louis van Gaal was doing as Man United manager, but we certainly got his views on fracking.

DAVID O'DOHERTY (00:03:38):

To the listeners, I'm going to have to do it.

Happy Mondays, popular band of the early 90s, lead singer Shaun Ryder. Shaun Ryder was backed up at all times by a man called Bez who played maracas and took three steps forward and then three steps back. And I thought that was his thing, but it turns out he's against fracking.

MAX RUSHDEN (00:04:04):

He is against fracking … unless he was for fracking and I've missed … no, I think he was against fracking.

DAVID O’DOHERTY (00:04:10):

Oh my God.

The cats just come in.

MAX RUSHDEN (00:04:12):

Oh, wow.

DAVID O'DOHERTY (00:04:15):

Yeah.

That's Meow!

I love my mention. I love that a gift in March really has bludgeoned its way into Jaime and Max’s reading roster. And I love that my name was the connective tissue to an anecdote about Bez from the Happy Mondays hijacking a football chat show to share his thoughts about fracking.

It is common for Tony Wilson Factory Records associations to come my way. On the day that Tony Wilson died in 2007, I received the largest spike in traffic I ever had on my personal website. And just in April, I had the strangest Tony Wilson Factory Records related email. Basically, I was contacted by a documentary team that are making a TV series about the Manchester music scene in the 80s, and they wanted me to do an interview, clearly under the misapprehension that I was THE Tony Wilson. It did make me worry about how good the doco is going to be, if they didn’t know that Tony Wilson has been dead for 17 years.

Now I read that again, I’m thinking exactly what you’re thinking, which is WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU MAKE THE WHOLE POST ABOUT THAT.

My dream now is to really get Bez to read Hickory Dickory Dash, possibly with maracas as backing track. At the moment, the book’s pinnacle is when Play School’s Jay Laga'aia read for National Simultaneous Reading Time, but Bez would surely bring a whole new interpretation.

It’s still up on Story Box Library (a service I highly recommend), and I have Hickory for sale too.

A plug for a plug

Max Rushden’s wife Jaime Bruce has just released her first picture book. It’s called ‘Dog by the Bakery Door’ and it’s a funny, rhyming story about dogs and their surprising talents, from juggling, playing a ukelele and even ordering a pastry. Jaime is an arts education specialist who has worked as a teacher and TA. She’s also written and published this with two kids under three, which deserves it’s own standing ovation.

I say we get Johnny Rotten for the audiobook.

Now streaming in Australia at DocPlay,com

1. If I had to say what I like best about writing for Substack, it’s that you can start writing a post and five minutes later be penning the words ‘Tony Wilson oeuvre’ which I never intended to include here, but I’m absolutely chuffed that I have.

2. Sometimes regarded as the Cannery Row of the Tony Wilson oeuvre.